yeah.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Happy Things 2008

Banana Cream Pie. I made one recently from this really old cookbook my mom has.

Boston. I promised myself I'd get out more this year, and I have. It's not a bad city! Especially if you take the T and avoid all driving. It's even kind of pretty at night from above:



Friends. There's such a difference being somewhere for a year and a half and being somewhere for only 6 months. I really think it takes that long to start to feel at home and make good friends, and now that I have, I like the living here a LOT more, even when it's finals time.

My fellowship at a children's hospital. It's been so nice to get away from the law school one day a week, and learn things just for the sake of learning them (and a nice bonus is getting credit for doing it without it requiring homework). I'm not sure if I'll go down the health law path, but it's definitely been a great experience so far, and made me even more sure I want to be doing some kind of job like this eventually (as soon as I pay off my loans).

My job next summer. The economy stinks, and I'm SO lucky to have a job lined up. A lot of my friends who are way more qualified than I am are still looking, and it makes me really grateful not to have to be worried about this (too much - I still worry they might take it away on a bi-weekly basis).

My cat. Heat's really expensive, and it's nice to have a personal heater to snuggle up to on the couch.

My little baby nephews and cousins who are all so cute and adorable and lovable and snuggly. No explanation necessary.

Barry O. Can't wait to see what happens in '09!

Scrabble. Have you played lately? I started playing online, which has now mushroomed into buying a board for my apartment and having little Scrabble parties with friends. I love having nerdy friends like me!

Mi famiglia. So cute, even when they send out a family Christmas card without picture approval.

Happy December!!

End of Semester

That time again. But I'm way less crazy this year (yessss), so I'm just sort of resigned to my fate.

And I'm in a surprisingly good mood!

Maybe it's Obama, maybe it's the unseasonably sunny weather (cold, but still bright and sunny, which is quite un-Boston), perhaps the fact that I only have 2 finals to study for.

I can't wait for the holidays to start (in a week!!!!) and see the whole family.

And I have.... PICTURES!!



Just one, for a taste. Many more to come later. I downloaded 329!

Oh yeah, and this.

I have decided to be not cynical for at least a week. Bear with me.

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/10/28/yes-we-can-remix-lee.html

Still having trouble with the words...

But this totally made my day. Can I say unapologetically, I LOVE OPRAH.

No words. Just happy.

Remember How Law School Doesn't Define You?

See here.

I have decided that elections do not define you either. And in that spirit, I would like to take a break from our regularly scheduled "Emma Flips Out About Election" posting to bring you this special message.

Pat Buchanan Makes My Head Hurt

And other various and sundry people on tv late at night. Why do people still care what he has to say?

Worse - Rush Limbaugh. He's a pimple on our society. A big, festering pimple. Hate and nastiness. Why do people listen?

Also, I am a Real American, apparently, so I get to have an opinion, and it is thus:

I would like people to be able to have health insurance and go to college, and marry the people they love.

I would like people to be nice to each other.

I would like people to tell the truth.

I love America, too. (this offends me)

I don't want anyone in charge of this country who puts women's health in air quotes. (this offends and shocks me, and that is increasingly hard to do)

I cannot wait for this election to be over.

Dear Lindsay

Your new house looks fantastic

Your floors are causing me painful envy

I want to visit you ASAP (red means it's urgent)

Please note: Your preferred spouse-finding method is coming up zilch, zip, zero, nada for me. I tried, really I did. But now I'm done. I will marry my work and become an old maid with cats. You will have to make me godmother to your children, and I will come and stay in the scary Bo-peep room with presents and bake goodies for them.

Love,

E

edit - I do not know why the text looks so bad. Forgive me, universe, for I have sinned in fontdom.

homeslice

I got some new pillows from IKEA:

(1) of these
(2) of theseand (1) of these (in black and white)


They make my couch quite cute and, dare I say, HIP?

Lessons I Have Learned Since Becoming 25.

• Being slightly (but I hope justifiably) selfish with your social life can make it much more fun.
• Sometimes (but only sometimes) it's okay to be a diva (but only a little bit).
• Being 25 can lead one to use the phrase "Let's be real." many more times than is absolutely necessary. Possibly it was just a Tuesday anomaly, though.
• Cupcakes can make an all-right day an ALL-right day.
• I think perhaps my age has caught up with how old I have wanted to be since I was 12. This is frightening.
  
• Life would be funny if we were all doing the things we thought we'd be doing at this age when we were 12.
  

15 minutes

And then I'm OLD.

Oh shattered illusions.

Now I know how my parents feel when their favorite songs are in Mercedes' commercials.

I was watching TV and there was a Raisin Bran Crunch commercial with my faaaavorite John Denver song in it (can't find the actual commercial, but here's the song).



So here I am being horribly saddened that my favorite ueber-nerd adorable folk singer is being used to promote sugary chunks of granola, and I discover this:



Le sigh. Next thing, someone's going to tell me unicorns aren't real.

Coming soon...

I'm way behind on things, including installing the software for my new camera. It has such a big memory card, that I lack any sense of urgency for downloading the pictures. But soon (as in, in a week or so) I will get around to it, because I have a bajillion pictures I want to download (and post!). I promise the Blog will become much more exciting then.

In other, really exciting news, I am -- you guessed it -- procrastinating! My blog is fun, but sometimes I think I use it purely as a reason to procrastinate. Oh well, sometimes that's necessary!

I have a big paper due on Friday for law review, and somehow I don't feel the pressure yet (noticing a trend) to get going on it. I know I need to, but it's hard to focus! Especially since Congress just decided to basically invalidate my project. Thank you, Congress.

Also, is anyone else using the economy as a reason to procrastinate? "Oh well, we're going into another Great Depression, no sense in worrying about trivial things like this!"

Obama Won

But it was nice to see two people who can articulate their positions and answer questions intelligently (even if I "fundamentally disagree" with one of them on a lot of issues). I think Bush has set the bar so low (and now Palin) that I get excited when people can speak off teleprompter without making huge, glaring mistakes.

What did you guys think?

Less Stressed Because

I took my job! Now I'm officially a summer associate at a law firm (or I will be, come May).

I decided the best way to curb the baby addiction was to sit near them on the T/in airports and flirt with them. They always seem to find me, so this is a good way to go.

I have buried my head in the sand.

I skipped out on something mildly important to go walk around the North End and buy cannoli at Mike's Pastry. It was so worth it. Also, it was sunny.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Law school is so bad for people! We all need to chillax. A lot.

A List, Wherein I Destress by Writing About Stress (meaning don't take it too seriously....)

I realized today I was using my steering wheel like one of those squishy stressballs. Only it was not squishy, nor was it relieving my stress. I wondered "Is this what a panic attack is?" but the I realized I had heartburn, because I ate no breakfast but drank a lot of coffee. Then I felt like an idiot. What is worse, going to the medical doctor with a panic attack, or a psychiatrist with heartburn? I spend a lot of time wondering this, and then I wonder why I am behind on my homeworks. (Aniuka spelling, not a typo)

Learning new meaning of the phrase "Keeping your head above water."

Learning that closing your eyes and meditating is not relaxing when the room starts to spin. (Note: drink less coffee)

Overly relieved that the high-pitched noise was not in my head today. (Note: high-pitched noises, even when not in your head, can cause headaches)

Thinking about lots of people who need positive thoughts right now. Sending karma and manna and whatever I can in their directions. If you do it, too, I'll pass it along.

Worried about the economy and if I'll have a job when I graduate; realizing how old this makes me feel.

Worried that even if I do have a job, I will be so utterly horrified at the government I won't want to pay my taxes, and then will be sent to prison for not paying my taxes.

Realizing it's time to stress less and watch cats play with their toys more.

Thinking my s-i-l should really start a photography business (seriously) and then become fabulously famous. I'll do the copyright paperwork.

Thinking 3 cats is the perfect number of cats for 2 roommates. That way there is always a bonus cat.

Feeling kind of guilty that I blew off the census man today, even though I HONESTLY had something on the stove, boiling.

LOVING having a stove. LOVING cooking and baking. LOVING living somewhere homey and warm and filled with laughter (seriously, there's some competition for best roommate ever going on up here).

I do not have tuberculosis.

It has not been long enough to know if I have mad cow, but it is now "unlikely." All that beef I ate in Europe in 2000 was still worth it, I don't care what the medical establishment tells me.

I may or may not have lost my entire note topic because Congress did something good. Finding myself in the awkward position of cursing Congress for acting too quickly on legislation I support. Law school does this to you.

I like being outside. I should do it more.

For my birthday, I would like to go home to my parents' house and sleep. And be covered in babies. I mean, real, live babies. Who crawl. And are adorable. And then I would like to eat brown beef. I have the recipe for brown beef, but I do not have the recipe for babies. Anyone care to share?

If you were a magic tree, what kind of tree would you be? This is a real interview question.

Job.

For next summer. In Minneapolis. I'm excited. It's a big law firm type place, but they seem humane and do a lot of the things I am interested in (and seem to be supportive of pro bono work).

I'm REALLY excited because I'll be back in the Mpls for a WEDDING of two of my favorite fun Mac friends this weekend, yay!

Please Read This

Especially if you are listening to the RNC speeches this week. It's by the AP, not some left-wing blog. (Credit to dooce.com for the link) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check

Random, Cranky Law Student Thought of the Day

Not to sound like a cranky old woman, but isn't it standard practice to reciprocate in a conversation? Say, if someone asks you "How was your weekend?" it's pretty rude to say "It was fine," and then not ask them the same. Unless there is some pressing matter you need to discuss, or you happen to strongly dislike the person and want to convey that you have no interest at all in their life, I don't think making this tiny conversational leap is too much to ask.

How can you get through 16 (17 now) years of education AND LIFE and lack basic social skills? HOW?? I want to endow in the library a section of Emily Post books. I shall call it the Legal Eagle, Eagle, Leagle & Eagle Wing: Get Some Manners.

Behind

I am officially behind in all of my classes already. Yes, it's just the first week. I actually think I'm pretty much behind in my life right now. There is this little business called "jobs" that is distracting me mightily, along with other things like law review, the competition I'm running, the fellowship that starts next week (I wish they had mentioned we need to read an entire book for the first class at some point earlier than a week in advance), moving (it's only upstairs, but somehow, it's still a pain). Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not complaining; as I wrote that list I got a little buzz of excitement about all of the fun/exciting/interesting things I'm doing this semester. Minus the job search, it seems like it's going to be totally interesting and validating why I am in law school and not baking cupcakes for a living and/or researching arcane German topics (though both of these appeal to me on a daily basis). Mostly, I just want to explain why my blogging has been (and probably will be) sparse. I'm a little exhausted, and the thought of rehashing my week makes me more exhausted. Ditto the kind of political entry I'd write if I had the energy. I will say that watching Obama/Ted Kennedy/Hillary/John Kerry (I never thought I'd say this)/and many of the other DNC'ers speak was really heartening and made me wish for the time I had in 2004 to really throw myself into the campaign this fall. I think it may partly be the tiredness, but the DNC has had me weeping on at least two occasions this week. McCain, too, but that was bad weeping. All Rodd women know the difference between good/bad weeping, right?

So, sorry for the lack of blogging. I'll try to be better. The light at the end of the tunnel is mid-October (competition over, first major law review paper due, job [fingerscrossedfingerscrossed] in hand). Of course I'll be starting to think about finals by that point, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

Hope you all enjoy the last fun weekend of summer!!!

The Olympics

I love the Olympics, especially the opening ceremonies. I could be cynical about the political issues in China, the flagrant Coca Cola consumerism, and on and on, but line up 204 countries worth of young, happy-looking people, add some unbelievable fireworks and insane dancers/drummers/singing schoolchildren and you get one thing from me, and one thing only: Hallmark tears. It's just so happy and hopeful and lovely, even if only lasts until tomorrow morning, I can't help but think some good things must come of it.

Amazing parts of the opening ceremonies: The aforementioned schoolchildren who sang in English and Chinese and were basically the most adorable thing I've seen in a long time. All of the things that appeared to be floating in mid-air: the LED screen with the Olympic rings, this neat mountain/cloud painting that dancers painted with their bodies on the ground, which swooped up into the middle of the stadium, and the final torch-bearer who ran in mid-air all the way around the 91,000 capacity stadium. The countries with one athlete. The country which had women competitors for the first time ever. The little 9-year old earthquake survivor who walked next to Yao Ming (he came up to his shin), just a few months after surviving and rescuing two of his classmates from their crumbled school. The fact that I had zero idea who any of the torch-bearers were; this is the first truly foreign-to-me Olympics I've ever watched. The commentators had to explain the symbolism of things which were clearly obvious to the crowd, if their reactions were any judge. As a cultural voyeur, this is really exciting to me! The drummers, OH, the drummers! Look it up on youtube (although this leads me to the next category).

Less-than-awesome things (Fair and Balanced, people): Well, China has blocked some internet access, so that youtube video might not pop up as quickly. China refused to let Taiwan call themselves Taiwan (Chinese Tapei, instead) or wave their flag (they waved the Olympic flag). There is apparently a lot of smog, causing some athletes to opt out of the ceremonies. LeBron James - listen, I know you're so cool, that it's hard to even be around yourself sometimes, but this is the Olympics. You really could crack a smile when you're standing in a place that only a teeny tiny percentage of people get a chance to stand, doing something most people only dream about, and being cheered on by close to 100,000 fans. I know, I know, smiling isn't cool, because it indicates you might be having fun, but, dude, THAT'S OK. SMILE.

Summary: No, they're not perfect, but I love them, in all of their glorious, schlocky One World, One Dream, Magic Rainbow glory.

A Farewell Ode to My Old Camera

After I made this, I realized my cheeks were sore... from smiling! These are the people (and a few places, and.. ok, cars) that make me grin without even realizing it. Love you guys!

If I ever have a few dollars lying around....

Verdict. And A Less Frivolous Post!

Pointy shoes (OUCH), curly hair. One of the partners thought it would be fun to walk me up 4 stories (a test?) to the next interview. Ouch. We walked 2 blocks to lunch. Ouch. Basically, ouch. May have to reconsider this for future reference. Interview went well, I think! Time will tell...

In other news, Lindsay is possibly buying a house! Congratulations!

The Red Sox made a bad on paper (but I think good in real life) trade, and brought in a PIRATE! Baseball worlds collide.

John McCain has apparently hired CollegeHumor to write his political ads. If this weren't real, I'd think it was a parody (you have to watch a minute or two in to see the ad - the bit about Ludacris is interesting, too though. Have you noticed that Barack Obama is asked to defend anything a well-known African-American says about him? He has to denounce these things or it's somehow assumed he agrees, because he happens to share their skin color? Not cool.)

Ok, I Need Your Help...

Indecisive people should never live alone. I have a job interview tomorrow. The suit, shirt, pantyhose (knee highs under pants - is that normal? it's so hot here, I couldn't go for the whole enchilada), necklace and earrings (they match!), and makeup has all been decided upon. I have two dilemmas.

Dilemma 1, Part 1.

Do I wear this shoe (and its sexy counterpart?):

D. 2, P. 2.

Or do I opt for the slight lower-heeled, WAY more comfortable, but possibly too casual number shown here:
Here they are side-by-side for comparison purposes:

(Now that I've posted all of these, I'm leaning heavily toward shiny uncomfortable shoe v. cutesy shoe with bow. But still, give me your opinions.)

Dilemma 2.

Hair - straight or curly? It's humid. So I'm thinking curly. But I hear straight hair is more "professional." Thoughts?

Uhms, also, we should all pay attention to things like earthquakes, the presidential election, global warming, and dental hygiene.

Big News!

I am moving! My upstairs neighbors are buying a house, and their (HUGE compared to my apartment) 2-bedroom opened up, so a friend and I decided to snap it up. I'm so excited! For a minor bump in rent, I'm going to have a full bathroom (a bathtub!!), a full kitchen (an oven!!), a living room and dining room (dinner parties!) AND - this is the most exciting part - AN OFFICE. It's a 2-br, but the second bedroom is really small, so I'll be taking the "bonus" room as my own. Yes, I'll be paying more, and I'll be sharing my bathroom and common space with someone, but I think it will really be worth it. I think I'll save a lot of money by having a real space in which to cook, and a freezer where I can store veggies, fruits, and leftovers like I did in college. Also, importantly, I won't have to invest any more money in a deposit or last month's rent because it's the same landlady. Nor will I have to pay overlapping rent - my lease ends the same day the new lease starts. I also only have to drag my stuff up the stairs! Basically, it's a great great deal!

So, stay tuned for new decorating dilemmas - I will have SO MUCH SPACE to decorate! I don't know if I'll end up painting, but if I do, maybe I can do both of my ideas, one in the bedroom and one in the office! Let the fantasy decorating begin!

I don't know how it happened

I have TAN LINES. On my pasty white feet, and other spots, too! The sun liked me this weekend. I liked the sun, too. And the lake, the clouds, the trees, even the mosquitos. Note to family members - Northern Minnesota is very much like Lake Muskoka. We should vacation there.

Have you heard of Wordle?

You can paste any text into it, and it makes this cool thing* with the oft-repeated words showing up bigger than others. My friend made one from our recent e-mail chain. Take from it what you will.



* technical term

Things and Such

• Thanks for all of the design advice (cough cough Harrison - mirrors?). I am pretty settled on the blue/brown/white scenario, and I even found a REALLY cute bedspread from Target that will look perfect. I'm just waiting for it to go on sale.
• I'm certain that I could not work from home very successfully long-term. It's hard and kind of lonely! There's definitely something to be said for water-cooler chatter and random birthday celebrations (as much as I may have complained about coworkers in the past).
• Working out = very, very good for cranky lonely, I-work-at-home-and-I'm-lonely moods. Every time I get down lately (with the exception of when I've had visitors, when I'm exhausted but not at all down), I run down to the exercise room and do half an hour or so on the bike or treadmill, and then another 15 on the elliptical. It's like taking a huge Prozac (cue random spam commenters....now) or finding out you made law review.
• I made law review =)
• I'm super excited for school to start again, suddenly. For the following reasons:
• Law Review (maybe I'll get published!)
• Running the Negotiations Competition for the 1Ls
• 1 day a week fellowship at a local children's hospital, disability policy/advocacy-focused and interdisciplinary (social work students, med students, etc.)
• I'm going to make my apartment a nice place to come home to.
  
• I'll have my kitty back!
• Interviewing for jobs for next summer starts August 20th! Researching the firms has made me excited about the prospects - dream job includes some free European travel...
• Other random news
• Boys suck. (I try not to be super personal, or super immature on this blog, but I think this is just an empirical fact.)
• The Yankees suck, too.
• The Red Sox do not, in fact, suck. Take that, Yankees

A List. And also fun!

Made a list of things to do that were work-school-future-related. Got a little down about the length of the list. Put the list away. Made a new list of all of the fun things I'm doing this weekend. Felt much better.

Finally cashing in my Christmas present massage gift-certificate!

Helping a friend pick out new kitties from the shelter!

Crisping up a bit (in my new SPF shirt) at the lake!

Yesterday was fun, too. I turned in the world's longest memo to my boss about a subject that has seriously lost my interest, and now it's over. On to bigger and better projects, at last. Then, since I had worked my tushie into oblivion to finish it on time, I gave myself the rest of the day off. I shopped (without actually buying anything) at Home Goods, Goodwill, and Pier One. I'm looking for ideas for my apartment, which I'm absolutely determined is going to be a lovely haven of beauty and serenity by the time school starts. (As opposed to the grimy box of sadness that it currently is.) I'm sort of pondering two directions on the design front. One is more orange-brown, Italian, kind of autumn colors. The alternative is my dream living room scenario (not sure if I should use this idea up on the studio, but then again, I could reuse things if I move somewhere with a living room someday), which is basically light blue and chocolate brown, with white accents, trim, etc. It would be a little more modern than the "tuscany" room, but not too modern. I think it might work better with the light wood floors and the bedding I already have, so that's a plus.

Thoughts?

New Obsession

N* and I are seeing them in concert in August!!!!! I have a mad girl-crush on Zooey Deschanel.

Real Post, Too

I hate how the text messes up the pictures, and instead of figuring it out and being a perfectionist, I'm going to just write a new post. Zen. I'm trying really hard to be less of a perfectionist. It takes work! One of the worst things is when I start beating myself up for beating myself up for not doing the absolute best or most perfect that I possibly could. I have caught myself recently being a perfectionist about how bad it is that I am such a perfectionist. This is bad. And also what the Germans refer to as a "Teufelskreis" - the Devil's circle, or, more properly translated, a vicious cycle. Any advice for how to be more Zen about life? I know part of my successes can be attributed to this personality trait, but at some point it becomes a little ridiculous.

I'm sorry my posts have become so boring and narcissistic lately. But I am too worn out to do anything about it right now, thus, more lists:

Things I need to do this summer:

• Get some work done (procrastinating, much?) Like, internship work, not plastic surgery to remove my perfectionist gland.
  
• Apply to jobs for next summer (yeah, law school is total bescheuert)
• Get a haircut, a doctor's appointment, an eye appointment and a dental appointment (I ignored all of this during law school!)

Things I want to do this summer:

• Read at least 10 books for FUN
  
• Get a schmancy haircut for all of my job interviews in August/September (what are your thoughts on shoulder-length , layered with some blonde/light-brown highlightedness? Too much work/expense to keep up?)
• Get contacts - my prescription is getting worse and I am thinking of making the switch. I tried to do this last summer, but the gallbladder took over! I don't know about the $$ investment though.
  
• Bake stuff.
• Run more - I'm basically stuck at 3k right now, and just walking the rest. Plateau? (It took me three tries to spell that word!)
• Go to Sephora and get one of their free makeovers, and then proceed to get the cheap versions of the makeup they recommend. (Again, for the job interviews)
• Get a new tattoo (not happening)

Things I did today that I've never done before (this is becoming Emma's Beauty Blog)

• (This is kinda gross) Used this sandpaper like tool that Julia left behind to file down my gross flip-flop heels.
  
• Covered my feet in lotion and put socks on. I am going to sleep in it and see if my feet are as soft as advertised after this treatment. I read it in one of the magazines the sublet apartment's owner left behind (Oprah, Cosmo, Glamour - it's like being at the doc's office)
  

Ze German, Ze Minneapolis (it's growing on me)

Caught in the Rain

*warning - I think this post will probably be really boring. Feel free to read this instead.

Today was a weirdly fun day. I slept way in after donating blood yesterday (who knew that takes the wind out of your sails so badly!), then got up and lounged around for a while. One of my all-time favorite major vegging pastimes is Lifetime Original Movies, and today was the "Love" marathon on Lifetime. Yes, I know, my tastes in entertainment range from bad to worse, and I am the poster child for all that is wrong with America, blah blah blah. I don't care what the haters say, I love a good Lifetime movie. Unpretentious, topical, and fun! My friend N recently commented about the political implications of the movie Dirty Dancing, and as much as I love her (*I love you!), there is a part of my brain that says "Don't harsh my mellow, dude!" Sometimes you need a little mindless entertainment!

After consuming a few mellow hours of said entertainment, I wandered out into the world for a trip that local retailer Target, where I acquired a fancy schmancy new object, sure to make me super-efficient and precise:
I also picked up a fashionable watch, on clearance for only $9, in order to look more professional and not whip out my cellphone when I really just want to know what time it is. Finally, I got this bag, which I'm currently dating:


Mine is green and white, and has a pocket on the outside, but that's the general shape. It's called the "Slouchy Hobo," which is wrong on at least two levels, but it's a super comfy, cute bag that holds all of my stuff. Plus, it was only $8!

After my little retail therapy adventure, I came home, and found that there was a solstice festival in the park in front of my house. I wandered over and watched some kids putting on "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in the riverfront amphitheater, then walked across the pedestrian bridge to downtown Minneapolis. There was a storm rolling in across the skyline, so the light was all pink and purple and weird like it gets in the Midwest during storms. I was so caught up in taking pictures, I got absolutely soaked when it started to rain! (Pictures to come in a future post.) I had to take off my super slippery flip flops and book it home barefoot. I was worried about the camera getting wet, but running barefoot in the rain is still one of my all-time favorite activities! What a nice way to end a relaxing day!

PS - I also did some work today, but that is really boring, so I thought I'd spare you, faithful readers. Just wanted to mention that I wasn't a TOTAL sloth today.

Le Weekend

The weekend is so amazing. I forgot about 2 long days of nothing, filled with slowly-sipped coffee, leisurely walks in the sunshine (I think I have a Vitamin D deficiency, and I'm working to fix that -Boston is GRAY), time to clean and organize things, time to cook (I've cooked more in two weeks than I did last semester), bad movies, exercise, etc. The only thing missing is my kitty for some snuggling.

Today I'm a) drinking coffee, b) cleaning, c) going to an arts festival with N, and d) babysitting my favorite little girls in the world (I can say that because my little relatives are almost all boys).

Zuhause

Every day which is born into this world comes like a burst of music, and sings itself all day through. And thou shalt make of it a dance, a dirge, or a life march, as thou wilt. - T. Carlyle

All right, that might be a little dramatic, but I like it! I have been feeling super introspective lately, mostly because working from home means I spend 90% of my time alone. I like it, to an extent, but I have also found it necessary to set up one social event per day, lest I go completely batty without even noticing until it's too late. Yesterday that included going to Lindsay's house, walking her dogs, eating a hugely disgusting, yet delicious Hot City sandwich (there was butter AND Italian dressing...), and taking a nap in her living room. That's right, we took a nap! I think your true friends are the ones who encourage you to drool on their furniture.

I miss West Virginia(ns), but not Boston, really. As nice as the people I know there are, I feel a hundred times more at home here. Speaking of "home," I've developed a new, and possibly disturbing interest; house envy. One J-Term, Lindsay and I spent weeks visiting all the animal shelters and pet adoption days in St. Paul and Minneapolis (see: Ella, Nick). I was supposed to be helping her get a dog, and I ended up with my SWEET DARLING kitty! Now, I've moved on to drooling over cute houses (I ran by one yesterday and almost ran into a light post, because I was gaping at the adorable garage.... GARAGE). I don't know where my sudden house obsession came from, but I have two theories.

Theory 1) Studio fatigue and housesitting: As the faithful readers among you know, I've been living in what some have generously termed my "walk-in-closet" for close to a year. Even though it's really not that bad, and quite reasonably priced(!), it's definitely a different style of living when there is zero separation between any of your living spaces. I mean, there is a door to the bathroom, but...no. By contrast, I am living right now in a house with 3 bedrooms, a loft, a formal dining room, a huge living room and a screened in porch. Plus a backyard. Perhaps this contrast has caused my body to go into utter shock at the luxury, and decide that it needs one of these for itself. Immediately.

Theory 2) Quarterlife/nesting/stability/decorating crisis: (this is the real problem, I think) I am pretty sure much of my fantasizing comes from the last 5 years of WV-MN-Germany-Austria-MN-DC-WV-Boston-MN hopping, my upcoming quarter century birthday, and some weird manifestation of that (are you with me ladies) ovarian/uterus/hormonal crisis about having babies, trellises, herb gardens, etc. I don't know if that made any sense. Also, I think I'm prematurely old, because are normal 24-year olds fantasizing about buying houses and having trellises? I guess we all know I'm not that normal. (To the tune of "Not That Innocent").

The good thing is that unlike getting a cat, I have no real income, and thus no way to "accidentally" come home with a mortgage. Phew. Thanks credit industry, for saving me from myself!

I Know I'm a Little Overboard With the Embedding, but....

There is really only one thing to say.

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things to Love About Minnesota

• The lady at Target who is intrigued by your purchases, leading to a conversation about law school, dogsitting, and the eventual discovery of a mutual friend... in Boston.
• The woman who made a sign (!!!) to point out to me that my gas cap was open, and then made her husband drive extra fast in order to pass me, so that she could hold up the sign and wave.
• The teenagers who look you in the eye and say hello (FIRST!) on the sidewalk. What??
• The sky. Sure it's scary when there's a tornado warning, and you can capture a funnel cloud on cellphone video (anyone know how to download that?), but it's also purple and pink and SO huge and pretty.
• A bar with board games. Nuff said.
• Smoking bans.
• Barack FREAKING Obama is going to be here on Tuesday. Yeaaah, I'm gonna be there.
• Running into people you know everywhere you go, even though you moved away 2.5 years ago; causing said people to be teary-eyed (and blogger to be so as well).
  

Minnesota. So nice. I love the midwest. I just can't say how much I love it here. It makes me insanely happy to be here, doing nothing in particular.

How I Feel Can Only Be Expressed in Song

*ed. note - I do not actually love Bon Jovi this much. Just the TC. And hot dish.

Obama/Cook '08

Apparently I'm not the only one who sees political metaphors in silly television shows:

David (Hussein) Cook

I dutifully watch American Idol every week because my daughter is a huge fan. After two seasons, I have learned to (almost) enjoy it. I basically just pretend I'm living in a different age and a pleasant second-string country, maybe in Latin America or the Middle East, where every week me and my extended family sit down to watch a goofy variety show filled with amateur singing and colorful local characters. Then last night, after the final results show, I found myself unreasonably elated when they announced that David Cook had won. For those of you who are above such frippery, you might not know that this was not at all the expected result. The night before, after the final showdown, the judges had all but declared the other finalist, David Archuleta, to be the better man. Then last night they dragged us through Fox infomercials and a string of has-been celebrities until, an hour into the show, they announced that in fact COOK had won, by nearly 12 million votes.

So why do I care? And why should you? Well, here is my very unfounded theory: Cook is the Democrats, and Archuleta is the Republicans. More specifically, Cook is Barack Obama and Archuleta is, if not John McCain then some dependably modern Republican-type. Both come off as sweet, good guys, but Cook is older and decidedly cooler. He's a baby-faced rocker from just outside Kansas City whose performances have been unreliable. One week he's awesome and the next so-so. He's mostly cheerful but sometimes moody and glum and seems to expect to lose.

Archuleta, meanwhile, is a 17-year-old fuddy-duddy from Utah who grew up singing show tunes and Elton John. His mother is from Honduras, and he has four siblings. He's deeply humble and entitled at the same time. I've always imagined him as home-schooled but I have no evidence, outside his large family and unyouthful musical tastes. A Los Angeles Times blog suspected he skipped the first verse of "Imagine" on Idol because he's a Mormon and would take offense at the line about "no religion." I think of him more as a Mitt Romney-type—weekly transmitting secret religious messages only his fellow conservative Christians would pick up. Every week I scrutinized his song choices and his outfit, and quizzed no one in particular: Why did he choose Neil Diamond's patriotic song "Coming to America"? Why does he have a huge anchor sewn onto his jacket? Is there some Jesus parable about an anchor?

So come last night, I was sure Archuleta would win. Which is how a Democrat would think. Despite all evidence pointing to the Democrat's superior charisma, vitality, momentum, relevance, and musical tastes, they still think the Republicans have some secret silent majority that will prevail in the end. And then, lo and behold, those extra votes showed up on the right side. Hallelujah.

Published Thursday, May 22, 2008 10:23 AM by Hanna Rosin Filed under: Barack Obama, 08 election

Good Job, America. Now Vote Democrat and Restore My Faith in You Completely.

For Real This Time

I am now officially a rising 2L! I still had one take-home final left when I wrote my last post, but I wasn't planning on much studying for it (I had seven hours to do it!). Now that that's over with, I am really really done. Of course as I handed it in, the person checking in the final reminded me to head upstairs to pick up the law review writing competition, which started immediately after. That's optional, and even though I'm doing it, I have officially completed the requirements of 1L year! Hip hip hooray! Now to pack, clean, and get the heck out of Dodge!

DONE.

Done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done.

"You can try to resist, try to hide from my (lists), but you know, yes you know that you..."

...can't fight the (law)(school)." So. Close. So. Burned. Out. So in need of new, non Leanne Rhimesy music to come up on shuffle.

One more "real" (read 100%) final, one "fake" (read 30%, take-home) final, and then I'm out of here! In a week I should be lounging on Rachel's roof in NYC sipping a mojito and contemplating my next move. (Why doesn't blogger know the word mojito? That's just plain wrong.) Yes, I'll still have the law review write-on competition to do (another week of legal writing, yay!), and then a car trip to Minnesota to start my new job, but I think I'm just about to get over the hump.

Random other Minnesota-Boston things going on this weekend: Twins beat the Sox, then the Sox beat the Twins. Almost hope the Twins win tomorrow. (Blasphemy!)

Obama - yeah, I'm excited! Now, HRC, please, just STOP. I believe I've mentioned this before, but IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. I even used her as an example of carpetbagging Senators on my Con Law exam. Mostly because I'm a panderer to my conservative professor, but also because she's really REALLY annoying me lately. And I'm one of those white women who is supposed to be voting for her.

Had a dream where I ran over a dog. It was awful!!!! The dog just ran out into the street! Interesting new form of stress dream.

Alas

My favorite American Idol contestant was sent home, just as he was really letting his hippie freak flag fly! Now, if you know me, you know I could by no definition be considered a stoner, and only ever considered myself mildly crunchy in relation to family and friends. The truth is labels are all relative, something you discover over and over again in life. In WV, I am out there progressive and liberal, at Macalester I was a party hack moderate, and in Boston, at a Jesuit law school, what am I? I'm one of the crunchiest, hippiest granolas you can find! Never have I experienced the sheer volume of designer clothing-on-a-daily-basis-wearing, upper class "but I'm really working class," summer home-owning, golf-playing, I-can't-believe-you-don't-wear makeup/straighten your hair/shave your legs every day/own Uggs/know John Kerry personally-gaping crowd of people. I know I'm being slightly hyperbolic, and there are many wonderful people here, whom I respect a lot; I'm simply trying to explain why I feel the need to point out, for the second time on my blog, my favorite American Idol contestant of the year. Yes, he chose a Bob Marley hit and a Bob Dylan classic, and kinda screwed them up for his last performance, but you know what? It was kind of awesome watching someone roll their eyes and be clearly out of place in a pop competition, refusing to take it as seriously as it takes itself. I aspire to be the doofy, crunchy Jason Castro of LegalEagle school. And I'm not going to cover up my tattoo for interview season either. Take that career services!

Favorite Things

I learned how to EMBED things. New levels of procrastination abound.

Random Observations of Randomly Bored Bostonian-in-name-only.

Status: Civil Procedure, conquered, if not drop-kicked.

Sleep deficit: Harry 2L's is worse. As least I don't have 2 kids, a dog, or an asthmatic cat!

Caffeine addiction: I foresee a somewhat trembly withdrawal period come June 1ish.

Running: I fell off the wagon big-time post ankle boo-boo. Boo. Never fear, I'll start again! It's really necessary; even if I don't make the June 1st 5k, it's happening this summer come hell or high water.

Things that are expensive and have broken today:

• my car (spark plugs, again, darn it);

• my computer (the "e" key popped off mid Erie doctrine analysis in the exam and I squeaked loudly, but I was able to reattach it, for now).

Musical obsessions: still replaying Dolly Parton songs over and over and over. The woman can write a good song!

Hair: large, very large. Also, amazingly my hair seems to be thinning *thanks family genetics* and yet getting bigger and poufier all at the same time. I can't quite explain it, but I appreciate the ability of the pouf to cover the approximate 50% loss in thickness and scalp coverage over the last year or so (I'm really not exaggerating, I went from a twice around the ponytail thickness to a four times around the ponytail thickness, if you ladies know what I mean). I'm also glad I'm not vain or splurgy enough at this point to consider expensive head creams necessary, though if I end up with a full-on bald spot someday, you'll all know why.

Last random observation: I really want to go abroad again soon. I need to figure out a way to do this. Sometimes, when I am really bored and questioning law school, I wish I hadn't abandoned the whole Peace Corps application process for reasons that didn't turn out to be very good ones. And then I wonder if it's not too late, and maybe I should just take a tiny (3 year) break from law school and come back to it. But then I'd be 28 and still have to finish law school. I AM THE WORLD'S MOST INDECISIVE PERSON. (and the "e" key just fell off again)

Later folks. Sorry for the randomness.

Terror v. Malaise (Apathy?)

I am strangely calm, given that tomorrow at 9:30, I'm taking an exam that is worth 100% of the credit I'll get for the year-long Civil Procedure class I just finished. It doesn't matter that I managed to impress the professor once or twice (but conversely, it also doesn't matter that I make a fool of myself on an equal number of Socratic occasions). It doesn't matter that I missed only one class all year when many of of my compadres were fed up with the professor and didn't come (especially by the end), or that I took diligent notes on the readings and lectures (well, at least until about April 15th, at which point I started to become fed up), or that I've spent the last 4 days poring over said notes and readings. All that matters, the only thing that counts is that I don't choke up on the exam tomorrow and can manage to make sense in four hours about the information I've managed to shrink from 150 pages, to 40, and which I'm currently attempting to fit within the two-page outline limit.

Funny, though, unlike last semester when I was terrified, and couldn't eat for two days before my first exam, I feel completely calm, even somewhat apathetic. Five credits! I should be at least a little scared, but I have utterly lost the sense of urgency and fear that preceded finals last semester. Either I've learned to deal better (and I have been making a conscious effort to be more sane this semester) or I peaked a little early in this whole law school business. Either way, I can't bring myself to really care too much!

In the spirit of procrastination, I just read Beth's friends' blog about being missionaries in Africa for a solid hour. Even though I have some reservations about what they are doing religiously speaking, it is unquestionably amazing what they are doing, and quite a tear-jerker to read from beginning to end. Lots of other thoughts on that, but I should get back to working so I can get a decent night's sleep before my big test tomorrow.

For some reason I keep thinking about one of my favorite teachers today, Mr. Chaplin, who was one of those funny and nice teachers who gave everyone nicknames and put a quote of the day (QOTD) on the board every day, which we had to copy down and respond to. Every single time we had a test (American history), he would put up the same quote: "Life is a test." - Anon. I like it because you can interpret it a lot of different ways; my current interpretation is that life is sort of a big jigsaw puzzle, and you have to figure out how to fit all of the pieces in without messing up the big picture, or knocking the whole puzzle off the table and having to start over again.

Hasta luego bloggie friends!

You Might Be a Law Student in Finals When....

You consider going to a different-than-your-regular coffee shop for a shot of espresso because you are so dirty/unkempt/bleary-eyed that you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of your regular baristas.

You wonder what "clean" really means in relation to blue jeans.

You wish you were married, just so you'd have someone to do the dishes.

You burst into hysterical laughter about anything involving the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.*
*or because your 'e' key has dislodged from your keyboard and is now just a little rubber nubbin.

You have listened to the same song 15 times (iTunes should really stop keeping track) in one day, because it helps you focus.

Momma, this one's for you!

Thanks to N------ for this AWESOME link.

Seriously, folks, this is officially the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. It's possible that it's my finals brain, but I've been giggling inappropriately loudly for being home alone:

Postcards From Yo Momma

Just an example of the many, many emails that people's mothers have sent them that are unintentionally hilarious:

"Hi love,

Berlin is grandiose and fascinating. We’re seeing many sights via train and subway - traveling in grand style. Hotel is great but has an unfortunate nudes pic over the bed. Tomorrow we check Dresden and back to U.K. on Saturday.

Love,
Mom"

EDITed to add: Definitive proof I should have come of age in the 80s to take full advantage of my hair. Three days of not showering or using product makes for this after a good lather, rinse repeat (the picture doesn't really do justice to just how big my hair is right now):



**also note, apologies for the narcissistic self-portrait-taking this week, but I haven't actually spoken to another human being (minus the person who sold me diet cokes at CVS) for a few days.

Sweet Nonsense

I don't care what the haters say, American Idol makes me happy.

Especially this.

Day 1 - The Marathon Begins

Sign I am taking better care of myself this time around with strategic vegetable purchases. (Who has time for chopping? Not me, but that doesn't mean I won't get a well-rounded diet this time!)



Also, I plan to do this to my Con Law final:


That's a little move I picked up in Tae Kwon Do called kicking something down, to Chinatown.

(Ignore giant, genetically ugly foot)

Things I Have Been Called This Week, Of Which I Am Proud

• Stubborn woman
• Hotshot
• Hardass
• Crafty

Context, so not necessary...

The Return of the Study Bunker: 21 credits v. 21 credits

Yeah, I still haven't decorated. Blame law school. This is, however, the cleanest my table has been for months.

I should have this all in my brain by May 5th:

Last semester was so easy in comparison - look at those paltry piles!

New trick for getting through: plan out each day in 2-hour increments. I'm writing this post in the 5-minute break between "clean study bunker and organize" and "con law outline." Now on to 5 hours of outlining, followed by 2 hours of legal research exam, followed by 2 hours of homework for tomorrow. But I'm not complaining because tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF CLASSES!! I'm in a fantastic and chipper mood. This might be because the lady at Dunkin Donuts misheard me and gave me TWO coffees instead of one. And who am I to turn down an extra coffee?

I can't wait to see you all when these shenanigans are over!

Lists

Purveyor of all things list-like, list-related, and list-awesome: McSweeney's Internet Tendency.

My favorite McSweeney's List of late.

Things that are awesome/Things that are less awesome:

• Spring weather/Allergies
• Fun nights out on the town/Tequila hangovers plus constitutional law
  
• Barack Obama/Hillary Clinton
  
• Three weeks until D-Day (done)/Three weeks of finals
• Last semester's 12 credits' worth of finals/This semester's 21 credits' worth of finals
• Running/Falling down my stupid front stairs AGAIN, thus not being able to run for a couple days
• Kittens/Sharks (particularly those who attack)
• Lindsay is engaged!/no downside to this one, other than one less girlfriend with whom one can say: "men suck"
• American Idol, yes, that's right/Fellows who check blackberries on dates, don't call you back and/or are generally annoying and ambiguous and just not appreciative of one's awesomeness (Yeah, I know these aren't entirely related, but hear me out; if I had a fellow who didn't suck, maybe I wouldn't spend my evenings at home watching American Idol, and thus it would not make the list of Things That Are Awesome. Sheesh.)

Sign of the Times

POLL: Have I crossed the line? I just couldn't resist the little celebratory ribbon thing (it was 99 cents!).

Springy Springy

It's incredibly nice out and I got to watch the leaders of the Boston Marathon run by on a study break today. Also, someone has some very exciting news, which she will probably share soon on her blog; I don't want to give it away! (Congrats, lady!)

Flowers are blooming (my sinuses are exploding!), children are running about (remind me someday to blog about the overabundance of teenagers in Newton, it's sci-fi freaky), and I have 1/16th of one outline done. It's not much, but it's a start. I am even considering giving myself a break and going to a party this afternoon, instead of fruitless unproductive studying hours spent in my bed/desk/studio area.

AND, most exciting, I'm looking at another apartment on Wednesday! That's right, I might be moving again! I am officially stupid, yes I know, but I want a kitchen! I crave a bathtub! I YEARN for a porch! All of these things could be mine for the low, low price of $650 a month plus utilities (woooooo, cheaper rent!). Here's to hoping the prospective roommate is nice and normal and the prospective canine roommate doesn't scare me. It's craigslist, so I'm considering enlisting a large, male friend to join me, even though the person I'm meeting is named Jenny and has an old english sheepdog (OR SO SHE SAYS).

Things I have relearned after going over civ pro notes:

• TB = Too Bad (important legal term)
• Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the table = a lawyer filing a complaint with big damages
• Dancing around the table in the middle of the room = nothing other than my tuition dollars are paying the salary of a questionably sane man
• I take WAY TOO DETAILED notes. Like, why do I know that on 10/22/07, The Nutty Professor said "and then I filed that lawsuit, I filed that sucker, because boy oh boy, they deserved it. And then I had a bowl of chowdah." (NOT KIDDING)
  

And Some Photos

Procrastination Central

Welcome. You may have noticed I changed the colors, font and title of my blog. I did this because a) I am finding new and creative ways to ignore permissive and compulsory counterclaims, b) I decided that my somewhat sacreligious Nietzsche title was a little over the top, and c) the green had started to remind me of finger-paint for some reason, and it needed to go. I also have discovered that Windows 2007 (which uses Calibri as its default font) makes me nostalgic for Times New Roman; every time I open a document I switch back to TNR, my small way of pooh poohing Vista and Microsoft and their newfangled ways. I am sure I could set the default font to TNR and be done with it, but remember, it's all about the procrastination and, more importantly, the illogical and meaningless ways we trick our brains into thinking we're achieving something.

In other news, the Boston Marathon is tomorrow, and I plan to take my run somewhere near the course; that way, I'll FEEL like I achieved something monumental right alongside the people who are actually doing it. See? It works!

Justice O'Connor

Why couldn't you be as logically consistent as Scalia? I almost always agree with you, but only after having fits about your opinions... Is it easier to be logically consistent if you're evil?

Le sigh.

100th post!

I don't know if it's something to celebrate, or means that I have way too much skill at procrastinating, but this is my 100th post. This is probably the first non-facebook internet tool I haven't abandoned after a few uses (GoodReads, Flickr, my old blog, LiveJournal), which either means I'm truly narcissistic or this is a healthy outlet (let's pretend it's the latter). I also apologize to those of you who signed up for an RSS feed thinking you'd get lots of good tidbits and ended up with Emma's Journal Wherein She Mainly Complains.

Speaking of sticking to things, I've completed Week 1 of Couch to 5k, and I'm feeling great! Actually, I'm feeling a little sore, because I managed to get myself so utterly lost today that my 3 mile route magically became about 8, no joke. I was so confused and turned around, and since I don't wear my glasses when I run (they get all sweaty and slip off my nose), I would have to get right up to a sign before I could see what street it was. I finally asked a jogger for directions, which he gave me, at which point I realized he was blind - making me feel like even more of an idiot for getting lost in my own town.

Shoes, and Law Review, and It's Almost Summer, Oh My!

Bulleted list time of the semester!

• I got new shoes. They're amazing. The difference is incredible! It's like the difference between running flat-footed on a beach and wearing moon boots! I just ran/walked 3.0 miles and I feel nothing. I can't even compare if I'm improving over the first two runs, because it was a totally different experience. I will never run in broke-down tennis shoes again.
  
• It's sunny outside! Another reason I'm pumped full of adrenaline and feel like I could go out for another run. However, this leads me to my next realization:
• I should probably be wearing sunscreen during these runs! After a friend from undergrad developed skin cancer (most likely from too much sun during runs!) I've become extra paranoid about sun damage (and as one of the world's palest, I was already pretty darn paranoid).
• For the ladies: how obnoxious is it that we have to wear at least 2 undergarments just to lock down enough to be able to run? And my neck/shoulders STILL feel pulled if I go more than a snail's pace. I'm looking into an industrial strength contraption.
  
• We had our first meeting about law review; the writing competition looks to be way less awful than I had thought - it's closed, meaning we don't have to/can't do any outside research, so it will be based solely on our writing/citation skills (and despite my mediocre grades, I think I can write decently enough to give me a shot, especially since about 35% of those who attempt the problem get on one of the journals).
• After Friday, I will be officially done with 1 out of the 5 classes I have this semester (Legal Writing, I shall slay thee!). I'm excited! Last semester this felt like some new, crazy world, but now it just feels like -- another semester! And I realized that after this one, I only have four more! Law school is short! Life is short! Time goes by so quickly!
• Later this summer, I am planning to apply for 2L jobs in
• Minneapolis
• New York City
• Washington, D.C.
• So if you live in one of those cities, be prepared to be hit up for any and all contacts. I will repay you with baked goods and my eternal devotion. Forever and ever.

Adios, Amigos!!!

Week 1, Day 1 completed....

Determined - I need new shoes in which to run.

Also determined - it's way closer than I thought to the law school. I should walk more. (Although, this could have something to do with the amount of stuff I carry to school, it has always felt like a major hike getting there.)

Funny - people who stared at me like a mad person because I stopped to stretch my aching calves in front of Whole Foods. You're supposed to be healthy, you're buying QUINONA for goodness' sakes!

Two more days of Week 1 to go!

Library to 5k

Law school, American Idol's return to television, and free law firm pizza have combined to make me feel like this recently:


Not like this, at all:


Which is kind of sad, because I think that those shorts would definitely help my career prospects. To that end, and because I feel kind of gross and bloated from eating coffee and drinking soup for lunch and having free pizza for dinner every day, I've decided to do (again, but I hope with more success) this plan, that my friend Lindsay told me about:

THE PLAN

It's basically a 9-week walking-to-jogging-to-running plan that aims to get lazy, out of shape people (read: law students) up to running a 5k. That means I'll be forced to actually leave my house during the next two months (I am doing this on purpose - I don't want to end up like Powder).

Wish me luck and yell at me if I never post about this again because I've stopped doing it and am back to the library/American Idol grossitude.

hilarious

>>laughing hysterically<<

Background: Macalester parties often had funny themes (it's a 50's cocktail party -- complete with cocktail weenies and ironic Donna Reed dresses! it's a graffiti party where everyone tries to impress their crushes with witty one-liners to write on each other's shirts!), and almost everyone who goes their prides themselves on being ironic pretty much of all of the time. When I was there, it drove me nuts, but law school has made me kind of nostalgic for that level of self-awareness and humor.

The Funny: I was just on facebook, and saw an album of pictures from a party at an off-campus house near Macalester (some of my younger classmates are seniors now - which is crazy - and I see Mac goings-on in my news feed every once in a while). The album was called "who like to rock the party" and the theme was clearly some variant of "jock/frat/party school party." The kids were dressed in polos, popped collars, visors sideways, boxers sticking out, playing beer pong (NOBODY does this at Mac) and reading Sports Illustrated. The best thing about this album was that if it were anywhere but Macalester, the pictures would just be normal Friday night party pictures, yet I could just SMELL the irony with which these (let's be honest) nerds were playing frat boy. I don't know if it's the insomnia or the nostalgia, but I can't stop giggling. I miss those kids!

Hold the Phone!!

Sorry, meager audience, I REALLY didn't mean to come off ridiculously dramatic and stressed out - but I do appreciate the words of encouragement. I'm feeling MUCH better, and have gotten a moderate amount of stuff done, even. And after watching my classmates fall down (not even exaggerating) at law prom last night, the curve isn't looking so bad either. (Note: I realize that sounds callous and mean, but seriously, when was the last time you saw 450 people in their mid-twenties - ADULTS - get so drunk they were unable to walk, talk or refrain from mega-inappropriate groping?) Call me old (or old-fashioned), but if I go to all the trouble to shave my legs and wear a dress, and the dean of my law school is there, I'm going to go ahead and refrain from drinking myself to the point of oblivion before 10 p.m.

I kid you not folks; there was bathroom-crying, evil stinkeye of death between romantic rivals, someone drunk danced into the D.J. (though she was so bad she almost deserved it - I didn't realize Cotton-Eye Joe had become an 'old standby'), at least three people were kicked out for being overly smashed (including one who fell to the floor while attempting to convince security she was NOT -- this was her third time being evicted, too).

On a less alcoholic note, I did my taxes today, and would like to send a big shout out to the Lifetime Learning Credit. Despite having not actually PAID any of my tuition (I'm mortgaging my soul for the privilege of law school, so it's all loans), since I'll be paying it eventually, it counts as an exemption. I ended up spending a grand total of $7 on federal taxes this year! Does that mean I can't complain about how my taxes were spent? West Virginia is stingier, taking a whopping $371, but I still ended up with a nice little refund (a tank of gas or two?). And let's not forget that "stimulus" payment. I actually feel conflicted about it, since it seems like a stupid way to prop up the economy (consensus among friends is that it will be used to pay down credit cards and saved for gas), but I can't really turn my nose up at $300 right now either! Maybe I'll give it to Barack Obama!

Noticing a Trend

So, I was reading my posts from last semester, and noticed how they became frequent, kind of manic, and very nonsensical as the semester wore on. I'm feeling about the same right now, kind of like I'm standing at the top of a cliff, trying as hard as I can to convince myself that diving off is a good idea. Once I jump off, there's no real stopping, and I'll start going faster and faster until I finally hit. That sounds overly dramatic, and believe me, I know there are very real things going on that are leap years more important, serious, and life-changing than law school finals. Those are the things that make it scary to make the leap, because bills tend to be paid late, laundry doesn't get done, phone calls go unreturned, and it is all I can do to feed my cat, let alone myself. It makes me worry that I won't be able to function as a lawyer (unless I get a househusband or at least a housekeeper) if it's anything like this time of year.

So, instead of jumping, I'm standing at the top, wavering (and wasting a lot of precious time). Part of me is also really nervous about living up to last semester (I don't think it's possible that I'll do that well again across the board, and that makes me scared to try!). I have never experienced such crippling procrastination, denial or self-destructive (academically speaking) behavior! I've been ignoring my work, just kind of writing endless to do lists (see my last post), and getting overwhelmed by everything.

I've always been a procrastinator in the past, but I've always gotten everything I needed to get done done. There was never a questions of letting some of the less important things slide off the list. Just not finishing things is sort of not in my personality. But, I can't seem to help it! I'm basically doing the bare minimum that is required, graded, counts. Otherwise, I'm watching American Idol, and sleeping in.

And yet, everyone around me seems to be in the same position. People are skipping class, having (real) breakdowns, drinking too much and generally falling apart at the seams. I have never seen more sweatpants in my class than this week. I keep hearing people say "If no one is doing any work, then maybe the curve won't be bad."

Again, sorry for the overly dramatic tone of this post, it's just sort of an anthropological mystery to me - how much can we take? How soon before someone starts crying in class (I KNOW it's coming), screaming at the coffee barista who sings happy songs every morning (I love her), or tosses a laptop out the window? Why are we all doing this to ourselves? Why are we paying $150,000 for the privilege? Can you actually fail out of law school? Why didn't I become a kindergarten teacher, live in a cottage, have a garden, bake cookies and spend the summers writing happy books for children about rainbows and sparkles and leprechauns?