So my friend T and I were SO convinced when we were in high school that we had the BEST ideas for t-shirts and that we would someday become wealthy by selling our highly ironic t-shirts. Our favorite (only?) idea was one that said "Quebec...quois?" It was supposed to be an impression of a snooty French person turning up their nose at Quebecois. Yeah. Not as funny as I remember.
Anyway, I have come up with a new one:
Lupus is like a drunk bastard who carries a big stick.
This is because lupus a) stinks, b) is very unpredictable and c) is wont to hit you over the head and cause you great distress. Just like a stinky drunk bastard might do if wandering the streets carrying a big stick! "Whomp whomp whomp"
Post-edit: T says I should send my immune system to the Betty Ford clinic. Ah, he can still make me laugh!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Meow. (In defense of cats)
I think that having a cat is a little bit like having a baby. Now, I'm not actually comparing raising a cat to raising a human being. That would be like comparing building a bookend with building Grand Central Station. Obviously it's not the same. But consider the following parallels:
a) Cuteness: Both cats and children are very cute. And their cuteness is in an inverse relationship to their age. Now, I love both children and cats of all ages, and thus think they are pretty much all cute, at all times (except when they puke). But even the most cynical cat/child-despising person will probably admit that there is something undeniably adorable about newborn babies and teeny kittens.
b) Warmth. Try this experiment: next time you are cold, find a baby (or a cat), and hold it (preferably a full on snuggle). Now, are you still cold? Then you must have a heart of stone.
c) Poop Duty: I don't really need to explain this one, beyond this observation: were it not for (a) and (b), our willingness to perform (c) would be greatly diminished for both children and cats.
d) Inexplicable Need To Follow You From Room To Room (Which Can Be Aggravating, But Secretly Makes You Feel Special): Obviously I don't have children, but I can imagine that the little "Aw, I'm her favorite Humanoid, because she follows me everywhere! (Or because I feed her, but let's pretend it's because she loves me!" feeling I get from my cat is exponentially greater for parents of humans, even when the creature following them around is dripping snot/salsa/playdough, etc. on their expensive duvet cover.
Anyway, all of this is a long way to say, I love my cat. And just as I do not judge all of you mothers by the Kate Gosselins and Nadya Sulemans of the world, please do not judge me by the 99 cat cat ladies of the world. Some of us are just normal people, who happen to love their furry little bookends.
a) Cuteness: Both cats and children are very cute. And their cuteness is in an inverse relationship to their age. Now, I love both children and cats of all ages, and thus think they are pretty much all cute, at all times (except when they puke). But even the most cynical cat/child-despising person will probably admit that there is something undeniably adorable about newborn babies and teeny kittens.
b) Warmth. Try this experiment: next time you are cold, find a baby (or a cat), and hold it (preferably a full on snuggle). Now, are you still cold? Then you must have a heart of stone.
c) Poop Duty: I don't really need to explain this one, beyond this observation: were it not for (a) and (b), our willingness to perform (c) would be greatly diminished for both children and cats.
d) Inexplicable Need To Follow You From Room To Room (Which Can Be Aggravating, But Secretly Makes You Feel Special): Obviously I don't have children, but I can imagine that the little "Aw, I'm her favorite Humanoid, because she follows me everywhere! (Or because I feed her, but let's pretend it's because she loves me!" feeling I get from my cat is exponentially greater for parents of humans, even when the creature following them around is dripping snot/salsa/playdough, etc. on their expensive duvet cover.
Anyway, all of this is a long way to say, I love my cat. And just as I do not judge all of you mothers by the Kate Gosselins and Nadya Sulemans of the world, please do not judge me by the 99 cat cat ladies of the world. Some of us are just normal people, who happen to love their furry little bookends.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Behemoth Blog
So, in a lovely internet kawinkydink (that's what we call them in our family - coincidences are for normal people), I was reminded of the existence of my blog here (ok, I hadn't forgotten it, but you can see I've painfully ignored it for months). I proceeded to read my archives in a vain attempt to determine if I should share it with someone I just 'met.' It made me self-conscious, but in reading the archives, I decided, I kind of like me. Once in a while, I was even kind of funny! And I still like the same recipes. So, this is all good news. But the bad news is I've kind of abandoned it, over and over, for other more pressing matters, such as finals, and illness, and American Idol. (But read the sidebar, I WARNED y'all about that last one!)
Anyway, so I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. I think next on the list of "things not to blog about" after "what you had for lunch" is "your blog." So this blog will likely bore you to death, if you're even still reading. But since nobody is reading, it's safe for me to self-indulgently muse about the future of my blog, right?
Options:
1 - Fizzle. Allow it to die a slow death, a la my old blog (which despite googling, I cannot for the life of me find again!)
2 - Shift Gears - There is mucho stuff going on in my life, about which it might be interesting to blog, but I'm not sure it's all meant for internet consumption. Jobs and health are two things I am wary of sharing online (for intersecting reasons, interestingly!). Even though I think this blog is pretty anonymous, I know I'm no match for The Google, and I do like to keep my private life private (with copious insinuations to cheating ex boyfriends, who I'd be happy to name if it wouldn't out me, too). So I could turn this into a blog about those things, but I don't think I'm ready to yet!
3 - FOOD BLOG. I probably don't need to explain this one to those who know me, but I love to cook and bake and make delicious food. I also love reading food blogs. Perhaps I should combine the two! I even love to take pictures of my food as I make it, for which people often mock me. Just this evening I made a batch hummus (for the first time ever - MMMMMM), and I lamented my lack of camera and tahini-covered hands. (How do people blog while cooking without getting food all over their cameras?)
4 - Just keep blogging at random moments when I feel so moved. My blog kind of feels like Quaker meeting right now. A really inactive but secretly feisty, liberal, baking fiend Quaker meeting. Mostly silence, with bouts of inspired singing and preaching. (I preach, I know it, no need to point it out.)
Votes?
Love, Me
Anyway, so I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. I think next on the list of "things not to blog about" after "what you had for lunch" is "your blog." So this blog will likely bore you to death, if you're even still reading. But since nobody is reading, it's safe for me to self-indulgently muse about the future of my blog, right?
Options:
1 - Fizzle. Allow it to die a slow death, a la my old blog (which despite googling, I cannot for the life of me find again!)
2 - Shift Gears - There is mucho stuff going on in my life, about which it might be interesting to blog, but I'm not sure it's all meant for internet consumption. Jobs and health are two things I am wary of sharing online (for intersecting reasons, interestingly!). Even though I think this blog is pretty anonymous, I know I'm no match for The Google, and I do like to keep my private life private (with copious insinuations to cheating ex boyfriends, who I'd be happy to name if it wouldn't out me, too). So I could turn this into a blog about those things, but I don't think I'm ready to yet!
3 - FOOD BLOG. I probably don't need to explain this one to those who know me, but I love to cook and bake and make delicious food. I also love reading food blogs. Perhaps I should combine the two! I even love to take pictures of my food as I make it, for which people often mock me. Just this evening I made a batch hummus (for the first time ever - MMMMMM), and I lamented my lack of camera and tahini-covered hands. (How do people blog while cooking without getting food all over their cameras?)
4 - Just keep blogging at random moments when I feel so moved. My blog kind of feels like Quaker meeting right now. A really inactive but secretly feisty, liberal, baking fiend Quaker meeting. Mostly silence, with bouts of inspired singing and preaching. (I preach, I know it, no need to point it out.)
Votes?
Love, Me
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Finals Soundtracks
This is my last finals period! So crazy to think I've done this 5 times (12 counting undergrad finals!), and that this is IT.
Every finals period since my first year of college I've had a "soundtrack." Some song, or album, or artist that is my go-to music. I feel bad for my roommates, for the repetition they've had to endure! This is the reason there are some songs on my iTunes that have been played 78 times!
Examples:
First Year Spring at Mac - Amelie Soundtrack
Senior Fall at Mac - The Shins
1L Fall - the Soundtrack from Hairspray
2L Fall - Kanye West (and, inexplicably, because I wasn't - Single Ladies by Beyonce)
I think it's a sign I'm feeling a little nostalgic that this semester seems to have become my Joni Mitchell period.
Every finals period since my first year of college I've had a "soundtrack." Some song, or album, or artist that is my go-to music. I feel bad for my roommates, for the repetition they've had to endure! This is the reason there are some songs on my iTunes that have been played 78 times!
Examples:
First Year Spring at Mac - Amelie Soundtrack
Senior Fall at Mac - The Shins
1L Fall - the Soundtrack from Hairspray
2L Fall - Kanye West (and, inexplicably, because I wasn't - Single Ladies by Beyonce)
I think it's a sign I'm feeling a little nostalgic that this semester seems to have become my Joni Mitchell period.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
SOUPer DOUPer.
In case anyone forgot, I LOVE SOUP.
This might be my favorite soup of all time.
It's super delicious, and allows for all kinds of experimentation and using up of what one has lying around. I mean, what else to do when your veggie drawer contains a sad sweet potato, some almost-bad carrots, and a bunch of green pepper? Where else to go with your "it was on sale!" box of quinoa and "my LAST roommate left this in our old apartment" coconut milk? And what to do with that mysterious jar of red curry that was just hiding behind the macaroni? And don't forget the garlic, the neglected garlic, which is about to birth a bunch of baby garlics all over the toaster oven (Why do I keep my garlic on the toaster oven, you ask? Better not to ask.).
Now, I know what you must be thinking - ew, you just described a bunch of almost-bad food and potential sources of botulism and I'm supposed to think it sounds good, natch, EDIBLE?
But you would be wrong! There is something magical about this recipe. A little tomato, a lot of stock, whatever veggies and starch you find yourself possessing, toss in some peanut butter for good measure (and requisite creamy, hearty flavor!) and you have a steamy, creamy, delicious masterpiece! The most fun part is when you've blended together your leftovers and it's time to spice it up. Because the ingredients are never the same, the spices aren't either. Maybe some cinnamon to balance out your accidentally huge dollop of red pepper? A little onion powder (because somehow 2 cups of onions aren't enough)? Thyme - no, wrong continent. Mustard? YES! That's perfect!
Try it. You won't be disappointed.
This might be my favorite soup of all time.
It's super delicious, and allows for all kinds of experimentation and using up of what one has lying around. I mean, what else to do when your veggie drawer contains a sad sweet potato, some almost-bad carrots, and a bunch of green pepper? Where else to go with your "it was on sale!" box of quinoa and "my LAST roommate left this in our old apartment" coconut milk? And what to do with that mysterious jar of red curry that was just hiding behind the macaroni? And don't forget the garlic, the neglected garlic, which is about to birth a bunch of baby garlics all over the toaster oven (Why do I keep my garlic on the toaster oven, you ask? Better not to ask.).
Now, I know what you must be thinking - ew, you just described a bunch of almost-bad food and potential sources of botulism and I'm supposed to think it sounds good, natch, EDIBLE?
But you would be wrong! There is something magical about this recipe. A little tomato, a lot of stock, whatever veggies and starch you find yourself possessing, toss in some peanut butter for good measure (and requisite creamy, hearty flavor!) and you have a steamy, creamy, delicious masterpiece! The most fun part is when you've blended together your leftovers and it's time to spice it up. Because the ingredients are never the same, the spices aren't either. Maybe some cinnamon to balance out your accidentally huge dollop of red pepper? A little onion powder (because somehow 2 cups of onions aren't enough)? Thyme - no, wrong continent. Mustard? YES! That's perfect!
Try it. You won't be disappointed.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Early Riser
I am not. Usually. I love the idea of getting up early and getting things done. Lately, however, my habits of staying up late to read or watch television in an attempt to wind down from my days end up causing an hour of snooze-buttoning and a quick shower before I have to run out the door.
Today, though, I woke up early (an hour before my alarm = two hours before I usually get up). It was glorious. Wonderful. Dreamy. I made myself eggs, toast and soy-sausages (they were on sale! and real sausage is way too fatty.). I did the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. I swept the bathroom floor. I watched the Today show for 5 minutes, but realized I really don't like to listen to George Stephanopolous before 8 a.m. I made my bed. I felt like a million bucks. There was even mascara on my face by the time I strolled out the door.
Now, real bloggers say, no one cares what you had for breakfast (or whether you are wearing mascara, I assume), but I think this is A Sign. A Sign of good things to come. Spring, and energy and health. Not only did I wake up early this morning, but I felt awake! I actually kept singing that 4-H song to myself: alive alert awake enthusiastic! (I'm a dork!)
Even more miraculous, this spontaneous energetic morning occurred the morning after a spontaneous evening out with C, one of my dear friends. We went to a bar, with real live people in it, drank some real live drinks, and just had one of those lovely soul chats that everyone needs from time to time. I had fun! And I didn't fall asleep on the bar! And then I woke up feeling like butterflies and honey the next day. Something is in the air.
Today, though, I woke up early (an hour before my alarm = two hours before I usually get up). It was glorious. Wonderful. Dreamy. I made myself eggs, toast and soy-sausages (they were on sale! and real sausage is way too fatty.). I did the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. I swept the bathroom floor. I watched the Today show for 5 minutes, but realized I really don't like to listen to George Stephanopolous before 8 a.m. I made my bed. I felt like a million bucks. There was even mascara on my face by the time I strolled out the door.
Now, real bloggers say, no one cares what you had for breakfast (or whether you are wearing mascara, I assume), but I think this is A Sign. A Sign of good things to come. Spring, and energy and health. Not only did I wake up early this morning, but I felt awake! I actually kept singing that 4-H song to myself: alive alert awake enthusiastic! (I'm a dork!)
Even more miraculous, this spontaneous energetic morning occurred the morning after a spontaneous evening out with C, one of my dear friends. We went to a bar, with real live people in it, drank some real live drinks, and just had one of those lovely soul chats that everyone needs from time to time. I had fun! And I didn't fall asleep on the bar! And then I woke up feeling like butterflies and honey the next day. Something is in the air.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunny Day, Chasing the Clouds Away
Some randomly collected thoughts:
Finally, finally, finally, it is Spring! Spring has sprung! We have sunshine, and, despite the fact that we're still attempting to dry out from a 4-day Nor'easter that flooded our neighbors, our street and the corner store, it feels GLORIOUS! (It helps that I don't have to use a Shop-Vac in my own apartment.)
In a hilarious development, the little patch of grass outside my bedroom windows has a flourishing crop of crocuses and whatever those cute little yellow spring flowers are. Regular followers of the LegalEagleSaga will know that this little patch of grass has been used by some neighborhood dogs (canine and otherwise) as a place for somewhat less savory activities than gardening. Maybe this is why it is so fertile!?
I also caught some hooligans smoking the green stuff out behind my building (for the second time). If they lived here, I wouldn't care, but these are not my neighbors, and I don't like it when I go to take my trash out and find several seedy characters loitering behind the building. It's sort of scary to round the corner where I usually am watching out for rodents and be confronted by three tall men. (Note - it's a dead end behind our building, probably why it's an attractive location for illegal activities, but also kind of scary to be stuck back there with freaky people) Maybe that makes me a square, but I don't like it. Last time I kind of just ran away, but this time I gave them a solid LegalEagle glare and asked them if they were lost. In retrospect, that's a pretty lame response, but it was the best I could come up with - I was startled!
Finally, I would like to give a shout-out to Easter candy. I think it is the best of all the seasonal candies. And peeps are a special treat.
Finally, finally, finally, it is Spring! Spring has sprung! We have sunshine, and, despite the fact that we're still attempting to dry out from a 4-day Nor'easter that flooded our neighbors, our street and the corner store, it feels GLORIOUS! (It helps that I don't have to use a Shop-Vac in my own apartment.)
In a hilarious development, the little patch of grass outside my bedroom windows has a flourishing crop of crocuses and whatever those cute little yellow spring flowers are. Regular followers of the LegalEagleSaga will know that this little patch of grass has been used by some neighborhood dogs (canine and otherwise) as a place for somewhat less savory activities than gardening. Maybe this is why it is so fertile!?
I also caught some hooligans smoking the green stuff out behind my building (for the second time). If they lived here, I wouldn't care, but these are not my neighbors, and I don't like it when I go to take my trash out and find several seedy characters loitering behind the building. It's sort of scary to round the corner where I usually am watching out for rodents and be confronted by three tall men. (Note - it's a dead end behind our building, probably why it's an attractive location for illegal activities, but also kind of scary to be stuck back there with freaky people) Maybe that makes me a square, but I don't like it. Last time I kind of just ran away, but this time I gave them a solid LegalEagle glare and asked them if they were lost. In retrospect, that's a pretty lame response, but it was the best I could come up with - I was startled!
Finally, I would like to give a shout-out to Easter candy. I think it is the best of all the seasonal candies. And peeps are a special treat.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Check
Yesterday involved cannoli, a gigantic lobster roll, and a nice stroll from downtown through the Commons, Public Gardens and Newbury Street. Although the stroll wasn't on my "list," it's one of my favorite things to do in Boston. When you're walking by the giant Paul Revere statute, the cute Make Way for Ducklings ducklings, and the State House, you actually feel like you live in Boston. And for approximately 15 minutes, it feels like a really cool place to live.
In addition to the historical sites, during the entertainment portion of the evening Tre and I were treated to a truly hilarious sight: some intrepid Bostonians (or maybe some stupid tourists?) were walking on the Swan Pond in the public gardens. While it was mostly frozen over, it was also 50 degrees and sunny, and there were some clearly NOT frozen parts. Ignoring the obvious laws of physics, one man ended up falling in, again and again, while Tre and I watched and giggled from a bench. Now, before you get all up in arms, the swan pond is approximately 2 and a half feet deep, so all this poor fellow got were some very cold and wet feet. Had he been drowning in cold water, we would not have laughed, I promise. We spend the next 20 minutes watching other people come dangerously close to the thin ice (and secretly rooting for them to fall - does that make me a bad person?). Who needs television when you have this??
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Me 2.0
New decade, new year, time for a new Version.
Same great features you love, new updates to make life better.
Includes:
All for the low, low price of only $0.00!
Get it today!
Same great features you love, new updates to make life better.
Includes:
- More and better baked goods
- Yoga and water aerobics apps
- Increased laughter functionality
- Musical features, including live performances (in the shower)
- Bonus package of fuzzy socks and pedicures
- Jerk/tool firewall with increased "cheater" blocking ability
- "Blinders" app for Boston driving
- Improved immune system function, now with Vitamin C boosters
All for the low, low price of only $0.00!
Get it today!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
2010 SOTU OMG! ISEINGB
If you're not all "up" on the "internets" you might not understand my UeberHip teenager speak.
Translated: 2010 State of the Union! Oh my gosh! I'm so excited it's not George Bush!
Check back later for my IN-DEPTH analysis.
Translated: 2010 State of the Union! Oh my gosh! I'm so excited it's not George Bush!
Check back later for my IN-DEPTH analysis.
Friday, January 22, 2010
My First Husband
Oh, Conan. How I will miss having you on t.v.! I was so excited when you moved to 11:30, because that meant I was more likely to be awake to watch you.
Watching your last show was much more devastating than the time you got married (which was a hard day, I tell you), because at least then I could still watch you on t.v.!
Now, while I may sound like a stalker, it's not true. I am simply a fan. A fan who also maybe considers you her first husband. And a fan who once accidentally told her (ex) boyfriend he looked like Conan O'Brien, but with a bigger nose. He didn't like that, but hey, he's my ex, so I can tell you now. His resemblance to you was, in the end, one of his only redeeming qualities.
Goodbye, Conan! I hope you are back on t.v. soon. And until then I will continue to studiously avoid watching AARP Republican Chin Man.
Now, while I may sound like a stalker, it's not true. I am simply a fan. A fan who also maybe considers you her first husband. And a fan who once accidentally told her (ex) boyfriend he looked like Conan O'Brien, but with a bigger nose. He didn't like that, but hey, he's my ex, so I can tell you now. His resemblance to you was, in the end, one of his only redeeming qualities.
Goodbye, Conan! I hope you are back on t.v. soon. And until then I will continue to studiously avoid watching AARP Republican Chin Man.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Leap Year (It Isn't)
So I finally went to see a romantic comedy in Boston. After almost 3 years of living here, I've made a friend whose tastes in entertainment are as decidedly non-academic, uncritical and well, fine, kind of BAD as mine. I freely admit that I don't want to be challenged by movies. Books, definitely; music, yes; art, sure; fine, even documentaries (I've been known to enjoy them). But movies? No. I don't want to think about strife, or genocide, or violence of any kind really. I don't want to weep. I don't want to feel yuppie guilt. I just want to laugh. And look at pretty pictures. And pretty people.
And when there are pretty people in gorgeous foreign countries I would like to visit (Ireland), falling in impossibly silly romantical love, interspersed with lots of physical humor (falling mud, always a winner) and "soaring vistas of green," I'm IN. Totally in.
So, if that's what you're looking for, I recommend Leap Year. It will not challenge you, but you will definitely laugh. And wish you were in Ireland. With a hot man.
The end.
And when there are pretty people in gorgeous foreign countries I would like to visit (Ireland), falling in impossibly silly romantical love, interspersed with lots of physical humor (falling mud, always a winner) and "soaring vistas of green," I'm IN. Totally in.
So, if that's what you're looking for, I recommend Leap Year. It will not challenge you, but you will definitely laugh. And wish you were in Ireland. With a hot man.
The end.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Things I Want to Do Before I Leave the East Coast
- Buy a live lobster at Haymarket and cook it. Ditto on oysters. Ditto on clams.
- Go skiing in Vermont.
- Take a ferry to Cape Cod.
- Take in another Red Sox game (preferably with above-zero temperatures this time).
- Walk the Freedom Trail.
- Visit the MIA again and spend the day there.
- Go to the North End for cannoli (again... and again... and again...)
- Go to the JFK museum/presidential library.
- Take a trip to Bangor.
- Hike Mt. Washington.
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